The Maruder's Greatest Hits
by Puss No Boots
Summary: I remember our first prank like it was yesterday.I had met Sirius in diagon ally only days previoyusly and barely met Remus.Peter unfortunatley was our first victim...(Chapter 3 up)
1. Default Chapter

Note-This is just a simple collection of the Maruders's best pranks!..or as i like to call it...The Maruders Greatest Hits!Read and enjoy!

Disclamer-I do not own any of theese characters!Only the ones you dont recognize!Or the charms for that matter!

Reviewing-If you like it review!If you hate it review!but if you loathe it...REVIEW!hehe i am insane!

P.s. this will be told by each of their pov's It will start out with James and then Sirius and then Remus them Peter better known as Prongs,Padfoot,Moony and Wormtail(I HATE THAT THING!).During the tellings there will be notes from the other three and Lily too possibly.

Characters

James Potter (aka Prongs)- I am a pureblood wizard who is son of Elladora and Harry Potter.At the moment I am in a place filled with clouds and pillows!.....IM GONNA GET MALFOY FOR THIS!...VOLDEMORT TOO!(A/N: Stupid voldemort!Yeah i said it!)

Elladora Potter ( aka mom)- Elladora Potter is Harry's grandmother and James's mother.She is also pureblood and Married Harry Potter senior.She worked at Gringotts wizard bank for 10 years.She later was killed at the hands of Lord Voldemort.Her and Harry were killed before Lily and James.

Harry Potter Senior(aka dad)- Harry Potter is James's father and Harry jr.s namesake.He was an arour all of his life and died protecting his wife and lifelong love Elladora.

Sirius Black (aka Padfoot)- I comes from a troubled past. Mother was a witch(A/N: ahem! pout a b in front of that!) and father was a wizard.Both of my parents were dark wizards and mother currenbtly resides in the Black house..or as we better know it The headquarters for the Order of the Pheonix.I am James best friend and was his best man at his wedding.I was never married and never had children.Harry saved me from death eaters in his third year but I was killed by my cousin Bellatrix Lestrange in book number five.My status is still unknown to the people who arent me.I am alive and well in a place filled with clouds pillows and hot chicks!Oh wait....thats Lily...OMYGOD!I DIED!cries(A/N: still waiting for the sixth book...Mrs Rowling)

Remus Lupin (aka Moony)- I a werewolf as we all know.I was the defense against the drak arts teacher st hogwarts for a brief period.Then I was found out(A/N: read the third book again for a refresher course!)

Peter Pettigrew (A/N:aka snotrag)(aka Wormtail)- I was the midget that nobody liked in school.So I am Voldemorts rat, litterally.I betrayed Lily and James,Sirius too, and went to Voldemort(A/N: or as i call him the wicked 'it')I got lily and james killed,Sirius thrown in askaban and Harry almost killed countless times.

Voldemort(aka the wicked 'it')- I WILL KILL YOU ALL MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!HARRY WILL PAY FOR WHAT HE DID AND..........OOOH CANDY!

Lily Potter (aka James's dreamgirl)-I am Harry's mother and Jamse's lover/wife.I fought to the death for Harry and,sadly, died at the hands of the Avada Kedavra curse.

Bellatrix Lestrange(aka miss evil)- Me and my husband busted outta askaban and are tormenting muggles!


	2. Chapter one Our first prank part one

Disclamer- i dont own any of these lovely characters!If i did Sirius would never be serious(teehee) and james and Lily never would have died!!!

My thank yous

Plays Graduation friends forever by vitamin c

Xylem - Youre awesome!Thanks for reviewing and update yours soon!

OrangeSodaSpill - Teehee interesting...very interesting.....teehee.I read em and i love em!

Chapter One- Our first Prank part one

James Pov

I remember our first prank like it was yesterday.I had met Sirius in diagon ally only days previously and barely met Remus.Peter unfortunatley was our first victim...  
(Flashback)

_"Sirius im so bored!"_

_"Me too mate...wanna cause some mishcheif?"Sirius said suddenly cheering up._

_"Okay..but wont we get in trouble?"James said standing up._

_"Nah!There arent any teachers!There is no way well get caught!"Sirius got up and pulled his trunk off the rack above Jamse's head._

_"I like the way you think!"_

_"Hey all,"Remus walked into their compartment "What the bloody hell are you two doing?"_

_"Having fun!"Sirius said innocently._

_"Who are you two trying to fool?Dippet will find you two out and expell you."Lily Evans said walking in.She was the most beautiful girl James had ever seen.Her red hair barley reaching_ _the middle of her back.Her emerald eyes were so astounding James could gaze into them for hours.James had no idea he was staring at her._

_"James?Are you okay?"Lily asked sweetly(_**A/N: this was before Lily hated his guts.Read on to find out why she hated him.)**

_"huh?"James hadnt heard her, he was too busy staring.Lily shrugged and left._

_"James!"Sirius said slapping him across the face as Lily walked out._

_"Ow!What the hell was that for?"James said rubbing his cheek._

_"You like Evans?" Sirius asked completly ignoring his question._

_"No!That's just gross mate!"James said weakly_

_"You liar!Evans is hot!"_

_"Hey!"Remus said.He knew Lily longer than them,they had grown up together, and was a little offended._

_"What?!She is!"Sirius said finally getting his trunk down._

_"So?"_

_"But"James said_

_"So?James has a right to date her!"Sirius said unlocking the eight locks on his trunk._

_"She has a boyfriend!"_

_"What?"James asked finally speaking._

_"You didnt know?"Remus asked bemused._

_"No!Why didnt you tell me sooner?"James said not noticing his voice rising._

_"I thought you knew!"Remus said looking at Sirius who was digging in his messy and un-organized trunk."What are you looking for?"_

_"Whopee cushion and butober pus."Sirius said rummaging throught the left side._

_"May i ask why?"James said avoiding Remus's eyes._

_"James i'm sory i never told you.I thought you knew.And i didnt know yuo liked her!"_

_"Its okay i guess..i dont like her,I love her."Sirius dropped the candy he was holding(fizzing whizbees)Remus stared at him in disbelif._

_"James my man,you cant love her!"Sirius said._

_"Yes i can!And i do!"_

_"James you just barely know her!"_

_"Who's her boyfriend?"_

_"You dont wanna know."Remus said with anger in his usually kind eyes._

_"Yes i do."_

_Sirius was back in his trunk,on the right side,His belongings were falling off the edges._

_"No you dont."_

_"Yes i do"_

_"No you dont_

_"Tell me"_

_"no"_

_"yes"_

_"no"_

_"Yes"_

_"NO"_

_"YES"_

_"For the love of god tell him Remus!This yelling is giving me a headache!"Sirius yelled at them._

_"Ill stop buit im not telling James."_

_"Yes you will Remus!Who is he?"_

_"Severus Snape"Remus said,his voice berely above a whisper._

_"WHAT!?"James screamed._


	3. Chapter one part 2 14 Continued

This is a very short Filler okay

Disclamer: i own Harry potter!..not......just wanted to be JK for a sec....it felt...hungery..im hungry.....pop tarts here i come!

(Continued)

"SNAPE?!WHAT IS SHE DOING WITH THAT SLIME BALL?!"

"Um...........I have no idea Mate...but,"Sirius said..but got distracted", Oooooh froggie!"

And Sirius started hopping around the compartment like the chocolate frog he was following.

"Sirius what the hell are youy doing?"Remus asked trying to change the subject.

"Trying to catch the frog!Ooh there he goes!"Sirius said hopping after the frog

"Weren't you getting something from your trunk?"Remus said eyeing James,making sure that he wouldnt jump up and kill Severus.

"Yes but now im chasing the froggie!"Sirrius replied jumping on the frog"Oops..i broke it!"

"Well well well i see that you four are being idiots!"A sneering Snape said from the doorway

"I broke the froggie.."Sirius said with tears in his eyes.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I know its short but im helping a friend with sumthin


	4. Chapter 2 Continued

here iiiiiiiiiiiiis chapter three!

Chapter 2

_"Who are you callin' an idiot Snape?" James demended as he stood up._

_"Who do you think?" Severus said looking at the frog guts on the walls of the compartment._

_"I KILLED WILBERT!" Sirius screamed as he began crying._

_"Your an idiot Sirius." Remus said playfully._

_"Thank you i know!" Sirius replied grinning like the cheshire cat._

_"Thats not a good thing..." Remus sat down_

_Severus looked at them and walked away.James sat back down and sat on frog guts._

_"Ew Sirius clean this up!"_

_"NO! Its the last thing i have left of Wilbert!"_

_"Wilbert?" James asked stupidy_

_"MY FROG YOU MORON!...."Sirius said and pouted " Besides i have plans for him!"_

_Remus looked out the window. It was full moon tonight. He would have to skip dinner. He didnt want to ditch his friends though. But if they found it out he wouldn't have any friends. So he would have to ditch them at Hogsmeade. Madam Pomfrey would be waiting for him and he would follow her to the Shreiking Shack. _

_"Remus helloooooooooooooooo come back to earth buddy!" Sirius screamed at Remus._

_"huh?"_

_"Watcha thinkin about?"_

_"Nothing..its just..nothing"_

_Sirius raised his eyebrows "You can tell us!"_

_"Tell you what?"_

_"That you have a girlfriend named timmy back at your house!He wears dresses too!" Sirius said and resumed the search for the whppoie cushion and pus._

_"What?"_

_"Nothing never mind!'_

_SIrius was looking for more than pus and a whoopie cushion. He was also looking for his camera his mother gave him at the platform when she gave him his underwear that he forgot._

_Sirius POV_

_Okay i have to learn to be organized. But thats not fun! Therefore i shall never be organized! Remus is sleeping. James is looking at a magazine. There no fun!...... But i know whats fun! MAYHEM! AND CHAOS! But first i must find my tools! Where could they be?..In my trunk! Well no duh!........._

_looking through trunk_

_Um..where is it?I was sure i packed it! Wait..this isnt my trunk! Its James'! Where is mine then?.....Oh there it is!_

_Sirius rummaged through his trunk and found the pus and the whoopie cushion. _

_Where did i put my diary?_**(A/N: yes diary!Its name is Fred! i had to put that in! Its the only way Sirius stays happy and plans out pranks without others knowing!Before he met James though)**

_Sirius took out a quill from his pocket and poked some frog guts on the wall. He would need it for this prank._

_He went back to looking in huis trunk and soon found his journal. He began to write:_

Dear Fred,

I met a new person! He smells funny and has a hook nose! Well i met him for the first time on the train thingie im on. Snapie-poo he's just as evil as when we were three and he came over with his evil parents to meet my evil parents and the evil one (mom) said we were going to get along great but we didnt and i kicked him and he got really mad and started crying and i kicked him again and went to my room and talked to you! T'was a fun day! If evil one wouldn't have made me apoloize and made us play together eery weekend. It's evil! That is why i call her evil one! lalala James and remus are sleeping. OHMYGOD JAMES HAS A PLAYBOY! Maybe evil one will buy me one?...something to think about. Uh-oh Remus is waking up. Bye Fred!

_Sirius_

_Sirius threw his diary back in his trunk and slammed it shut before Remus could see it. _

_"Remus?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Wanna do sumthin fun?"_

_"Depends on what you have in mind."_

_"Pranks?"_

_"Pranks?"_

_"Pranks and i need you to help!"_

_"Oh no! Im not getting into trouble my first day of school! No way!"_

_"You wont besides you need to do something fun!"_

_"Alright what kind of prank?"_

_"See that little guy over there?"_

_Sirius pointed to the compartment beside there's. A boy around Remus' age was sitting there asleep and alone. _

_"Yeah.."_

_"When he gets up to go to the bathroom you go hide this where he's gonna sit!"Sirius held up a whoopie cushion filled with pus._

_"What the hell are you thinking? We can't do that!"_

_"Yes we can!" _

_"For one you dont know if he will use the bathroom and for two im not gonna do it!"_

_"Oh but he will!"_

_"How do you know?"_

_"I saw him drinking some butterbeer about an hour ago!"_

_"What are you?Some kind of stalker?"_

_"No i just pay attention."_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------_

Okay here is an update for here! now i need to work on an update for Fallen through and the one i am working on! tata children!

REVIEW!


	5. Chapter 3 Continued

AAAH SORRY I DIDNT UPDATE SOONER! hope you forgive me sniff Ok so this is a complete chapter! Im tryin to extend them. Oh and for anyone reading 'Awakening' its a one parter.

Disclamer - I OWN NADA LADA! I only own the plot! See? Wasn't that fun?ducks flying tomatoes

SIRIUSISNUTSSIRIUSISNUTSSIRIUSISNUTSSIRIUSISNUTSSIRIUSISNUTS

NOTE!

_italics _mean remembering things. Aka scenes from the past.

**Bold** is my notes

and straight is one of them talking. Their Maruder names are what they are identified with.. or if its like this:

Moony: Shut up padfooot.

Get it? Got it? Good!

SIRIUSISNUTSSIRIUSISNUTSSIRIUSISNUTSSIRIUSISNUTSSIRIUSISNUTS

Chapter 3

_"When he gets up to go to the bathroom you go hide this where he's gonna sit!"Sirius held up a whoopie cushion filled with pus._

_"What the hell are you thinking? We can't do that!"_

_"Yes we can!" _

_"For one you dont know if he will use the bathroom and for two im not gonna do it!"_

_"Oh but he will!"_

_"How do you know?"_

_"I saw him drinking some butterbeer about an hour ago!"_

_"What are you?Some kind of stalker?"_

_"No i just pay attention."_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------_

_Sirius POV _**A/N: Siri piv is fun! ya gotta admit!)**

_"Sirius, if you get me in trouble im going to have to kick your ass." There he goes with the whole ass kicking thing again.. He's such a complainer! He can't stand it that my pranks are just plain sm,art and his arent worth diddly squat!.. Is diddly squat a word?hmm.... I'll ask Remus, but not now! I've got work to do!_

_I smile my crooked psychotic smile. "Remus, Remus, Remus... Do you have any faith in me?" _

_"No, that would be stupid." STUPID? STUPID? HAVING FAITH IN YOUR FRIENDS IS STUPID? Fine... See if i care.._

_"YOU BASTARD! HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE FAITH IN ME!?!?! I AM YOUR FRIEND! I HAVE FAITH IN YOU!" So i couldn't not care.. big deal.._

_"Shut up! You'll wake James up!"_

_"I DONT CARE!"_

_"Whoozair? Sirius shut the hell up." Oops.. i woke the king up! OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO KILL ME! _

Prongs: And i almost did kill Padfoot. But his mom would have killed me.

_AAAAAH JAMES IS ATTACKING ME.. Oh wait... no im hitting myself.. _

_"Your insane Sirius. Now what were you saying about that whoopis cushion?" Remy Wemy says stuff to seriously. He needs to talk more Siriusly!!! _

_"Yes! When he gets up we put the pus-filled device where he sits and cover it with James' invisibility cloak and voila! He gets puss all over his ass!!! Pretty genius if i do say so myself."_

_"YOU IDIOT!" Jamie is mad... Was it somethign i said?, "IM NOT LOSING MY DAD'S CLOAK FOR SOME STUPID PRANK!" .............. Will he stop yelling?_

_"Okay.. so then we will................." What can we dedadadedado? Hmmmm..... "HA! We can hide it under a cloak or something!"_

_"Not a bad idea... James?" Remus... sounding so professioninal! SHEESH GIVE IT A REST Mister his smarty pants too big for him... Person...Guy... Dude.... Yeah...._

_"Sounds good. Sirius, your going."_

_"ME? WHY ME? The mastermind never does the dirtywork! You do it Remus!" ME? THEY WANT THE GENIUS TO DO IT? Idiots... me? Why me?..._

_"Because you are faster than me and James put togther and smarter." _

_"Yeah i am- wha?" Did he just say im smarter than him? NO WAY! He's a genius and im..... a Sirius! teehee _

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sorry guys, my mom is kickin me off. Ill finish this tonight and have it up tomorow. Providing i dont collapse from this cold medicine sneeses Sowwi.

ttyl lylas

Sammy


	6. Chapter 3 Finished

IM BAACK! happy new year to all! Hope you didnt get too drunk for 05! quoting my friend "I didnt get drunk, just a little buzzed".." Is it a bad thing that i cant walk straight?"

HERE TAKE IT!

Disclamer: Yeah.. i own NADA!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Prongs: So, i had to do the deed. Padfoot wouldn't stop whining about it and Remus refused, so i got stuck with it.

------------------------------------------------------

_James POV_

_Hmmmm how can i do this without being caught? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm......... _

_"Ok, he's up! GO NOW JAMIE!" Sirius yelled at me. I swear, someday im killing him. _

_I looked over at Remus, begging him to do it, he of course just smirked. Hmph. So in retaliation i stuck my tongue out at him. he, AGAIN, smirked his oh-so-evil-know-it-all smile that teachers give you when you get an answer wrong. Annoying.._

_"You volunteered yourself for this James. So get going before that rock comes back." ...Does he always have to be such a smartass? Sirius pushed me out of or compartment, with the whoopee cushion and my wand, and creeped over. I placed Sirius' 'brilliant creation' on the guys seat, charmed it, and ran back. _

_"Good goin' Jamie! Now, we wait." Sirius said and sat down on his trunk. _

_We waited........_

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

_And waited...._

**1 hour and 38 minuites later...**

_"Im BORED! Jamie, entertain me." Sirius said and crossed his arms. "How long does it take to go to the bathroom? Unless.... He's m-"_

_"SHUT UP SIRIUS BLACK!" Remus and I yelled in unison. _

_"What? What did i say?" He looked at me then at Remus and started his from jump again. _

_"Things we don't want to know or talk about." Remus said. I nooded and Sirius rolled onto his back and started barking. _

_"What are you doing?" I asked Sirius. He looked up at me and said: "woof."_

_Remus stood up and pulled his trunk down from the rafters above us. He opened the lock and started looking for something. Its organized! wow. He's too.... perfect. Not a flaw in that kid! Too perfect to be human...._

_"Wanna play exploding snap?" Remus asked me. I nodded "Sure." _

_Sirius whined, still acting like a dog, and looked at us with big watery eyes. _

_"Sorry Siri, dogs cant play exploding snap!" I told him. He's such an.... Oh wait, that kid's coming back!_

_"Guys he's coming" Remus whispered. Sirius sat bolt upright and we watched, he went back in his compartment_

_....................He started to sit down..................._

_...................Lower............................................_

_...................And Lower....................................._

_..................He sat on Sirius' device..................._

_................And................................................._

_...............It......................................................_

_.............Exploded............................................._

_..............And pus leaked all over his ass..........._

_.............And...................................................._

_............"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".._

_Sirius, Rmus and Iall burst out laughing. Sirius was rolling on the floor. Remus was keeledover his trunk and I was laying on the bench laughing hard. The kid was screaming in pain. We were red-faced and couldnt breathe, we were laughing so hard. The kid ran to the bathroom._

_After we stopped laughing, and started breathing, Sirius said: "That was good. We should do it again sometime."_

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Prongs: And that was Number One.......

----------------------------------------------------------------

Good? Hope you liked it. 6 more to go! Im going to try to keep them to one long chapter. So the next one should be up in a few weeks. (Still planning it out) So happy new year and SAMMY OUT! (:P Just for fun lmao)


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